Tea and Botox

I’ve spent the entire weekend feeling like I’ve been smacked against the right side of my face with a spade. But I’ve ploughed on, I’ve worked, I’ve mummed and I’m ready for the day job tomorrow.

The pain isn’t always as bad as it has been this weekend but these attacks are becoming more and more frequent as my current medication is failing. Last week I saw… lets call him Dr. Pain. For the second time. My best friend asked if Dr. Pain was gorgeous, only she could ask such a question but no he is not, he is a little scary if I’m honest. Dr. Pain does pain. His mission is find the cause and interrupt the pain signals. Last time he jabbed me in the head and neck with painful injections that didn’t work. He said he was disappointed but I can assure you no one was as disappointed as me. So this time he jabbed me with what felt like a million injections all over forehead and neck and back of my head and upper back. ‘How was that?’ He said, ‘because you seemed to deal with that pretty well, most girls say they can’t understand how anyone could have it cosmetically’. I replied that I have a high pain threshold. I have no idea how anyone could voluntarily have Botox. It was brutal.

I left feeling hopeful and a little self conscious that my face resembled a pin cushion. On closer inspection it did.

The Botox could take a week to work, I’m now on day 5 and in the middle of a particularly bad attack and feeling less hopeful than I was on day 1. Also I can’t move anything above my eyes. Imagine the tightness you get after sunburn and that is my forehead.

I don’t know life without pain anymore, where most people say to me, oh I never get headaches. I am more, oh I never don’t get headaches. And it’s really harsh of me but when people say, oh I’ve got such a bad headache today, I think you have no idea, I have had a headache for over a year. Sorry that really is not a dig at anyone in particular as I realise it’s highly irrational and not very kind but when you’re at your wits end, have tried various medications and methods it’s hard to remain rational at times.

There are some who seem to think that my headaches have magically disappeared (I wish they had) What are you still getting those? Yes just because I don’t publish a headache related Minion meme every other minute to my Facebook or update my status, ‘I have such a bad headache today please send hugs’ doesn’t mean that it has all stopped Instead I thought I’d make a public announcement in the form of my not so frequent blog on living post brain trauma and I shall leave you with a helpful list of guidelines on how to deal with my headache grumpiness:

Q. Is it caffeine? You’re always drinking tea

A. Just make me a cup of tea.


Q. Do you drink enough water?

A. Yes I drink loads of water. Now make me some tea.


Q. Have you taken anything for it?

(This one varies as I avoid taking too many pain killers and only take them at very bad times)

A1. No it’s pointless, painkillers don’t work very well but a cup of tea would be nice

A2. Only 2 ibuprofen with codeine and a couple of paracetamol and that smell? That’s the magic balm one of the girls from work gave me. Yes a cup of tea would be very good.


Q. Is it stress?

A. Likely, my life over the past 8 years could be compared to that of a character from Neighbours. I’m British, everyone knows the best way to ease stress is a nice cup of tea.

Q. Is it related to your aneurysm?

A. The Drs don’t seem to think so but then they don’t make me tea so I’m not sure whether I trust them.


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